Those of you who frequent Sam West Writes This would probably guess that in person I’m a cynical, cold-hearted bastard who can only feel joy by creating a false sense of smug superiority to others through the writing of unnecessarily vitriolic essays maligning other people’s beliefs and accomplishments. And they’d be right. But despite all that, I’m a sucker for the holiday season. There are so many traditions I like- putting up a tree, giving gifts to my younger relatives, and watching b-list celebrities attempt a comeback in a Hallmark Channel Christmas abortion. However, there’s one tradition that’s been getting more and more popular lately that I just don’t understand. I’m talking, of course, about the War on Christmas. Every year it seems, there is more and more shit-flipping about the holidays and which should be celebrated in public and which shouldn’t. I thought, after record shopping turn outs and black Friday massacres, people would realize that the Christian faith is relatively safe in America and isn’t going anywhere for a long time. I thought, for one December, we could put aside the Red and Blue state Culture War bullshit and come together- or at least coexist in piece. As usual, I’ve overestimated the human race.
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