The Palins Again, Chick-Fil-A, and Honey Boo Boo: The Week in Videos

In his constant quest to provide you with an enjoyable and intuitive blogging experience, Sam West will present three videos from this week, accompanied by his commentary. This will, hopefully, allow you to enjoy soundbites about current events without any mucking about in the realm of intelligent prose.

Chick-Fil-A Hates Gay People, In a Surprise to No One

Before we start on Chick-Fil-A, I have one question for other liberals: why the fuck would you want to go on Bill O’Reilly’s show so you can have that old man and some fucking lipstick cunt monster yell at you about how you are Pol Pot The Economic Coercer just because you don’t want to buy Chicken that’s used to fund an active fight against equality? O’Reilly doesn’t have to argue with you or play fair or do anything like that, because it’s his show. He thinks he’s fighting fair, sure. But his bullshit about Black People and how they should be boycotted (because we all know if one black reverend says it, EVERY black person agrees with it) is so nonsensical and so innately, basically opposed to any kind of rational logic that it’s impossible to think about in time for a rebuttal, and by the time you’ve got one, he’s already totally moved on and you look like a bumbling retard. The thing about debating with idiots is this: because idiots don’t have to follow the rules of debate, they’re really good at it.

ANYWAY, for those uninitiated on the Chick-Fil-A business, here’s what happened. It turns out, that, in a surprise to no one, Chick-Fil-A COO Dan Cathy is a flaming homophobe who said that he was shocked that our generation had the audacity to tell God what they think marriage is. People boycotted Chick-Fil-A, and three mayors said they would no longer allow Chick-Fil-As in their city. No surprise, bigots responded by throwing a “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” and holding rallies in their stores. A lot of people were really offended about the part about mayors and banning Chick-Fil-A, but the difference between a mayor alone saying they didn’t support a business and JOESPH STALIN is this: there’s no way a city council would approve the outright banning of a popular business, and if they do, just don’t vote for him next time? I don’t think mayors even have that kind of power. I could be wrong, and maybe tomorrow the hammer will come down and millions of Americans will be without chicken sandwiches, but maybe you could just, you know, drive ten fucking miles to a different municipality and eat your hate-financing sandwiches there? The argument that somehow this is an issue of Fag-Hater discrimination is god damn crazy, but again, is this surprising to anyone? Especially considering the fact that America came about this close to a Republican Presidential candidate who was in favor of federal anti-sodomy laws.

I was up for a boycott from the beginning, but Chick-Fil-A Appreciation day should serve to make everyone aware of the issue and how fucking ridiculous it is. Sometimes I take for granted how far us Sensible Human Beings have to go in the fight against homophobia. The fact that something as small and insignificant as people saying they didn’t agree with the policies of a fast food restaurant would generate mile long outside a restaurant so that people could basically donate directly to actual organizations whose stated policies include illegalizing homosexual love is fucking ridiculous. We can’t surrender anything. We must fight the gay-haters at Chick-Fil-A so that we don’t have to fight them at Popeye’s. Boycott on.

The Palins Again, Christ

UGH. I know what should bother me about this video: the fact that Tripp heard Willow or Bristol say “faggot” and is now repeating it. I should be absolutely OFFENDED by the fact that people who openly hate gays use anti-gay slurs. I know, shocker. The real thing that pisses me off is this: people bought Sarah Palin’s populist shit. They really did, and she’s rich enough to buy her daughters fucking HOUSES IN THREE STATES. What the is that? This is the second time that Sarah Palin has straight-up LIED to the American people, not deceived, not equivocated, not fibbed, just fucking lied in their faces. The only satisfaction we can have is that basically at this point even people in the Republican party consider her to be more of a liability than an asset. Sarah Palin would be Just The Worst if she was taken as seriously as, say, Michelle Bachmann, but thankfully, she’s just one fucking drunken nightmare weekend in American history that will probably make it into the history books, but not as a vocabulary word for your quiz on Friday. 

Of course, I’m not surprised at this. After all, it’s like Sarah’s always said: two women can’t raise a child.

Honey Boo Boo Has Her Own Show

Here’s something we can all agree to boycott. Honey Boo Boo and Toddlers in Tiaras are absolutely the worst things on TV, and that is why people watch them. There are no fans of this show. People only watch it to revel in the absolute horror of these fucking selfish monsters of parents and how terrible they are. People will only watch this show to make fun of her family and laugh. The Boo Boos will be the laughing stock of America, unless, and I know this is asking a lot, just fucking change the channel and don’t pay any attention to this nonsense. It is exploitative and wrong and we’re going to create another whole family of rich idiots with spoiled, broken children if we all don’t stop it now. I’m drawing the line here, America. See you next week.

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