I once went on an awkward and disastrous blind date with a girl one time. It was a dinner-and-a-movie type situation, and over a blandtastic Olive Garden we fork-dropped and napkin-fumbled our way through that high school date every person has been on. We got on politics and our families, (which is always a great sign), and I said, “it’s tough living in a place like Alabama if you aren’t a total, flaming Republican.” In response, she actually said the phrase “well, I don’t really agree with Republicans on things like gay marriage, but I’m not a big fan of how Democrats only seem to be interested in taking hardworking people’s money and giving it to folks who don’t do anything.”
It’s odd to actually feel your penis retract into your body thanks to such an unbridled wave of sheer unsexitude. (The sensation may be coupled with a sitcom-like record screech for further humorous effect.) I knew at that point the relationship wouldn’t progress much further, and here’s why. I’m not the type of person who’s only attracted to carbon copies of themselves or anything. But to actually say that you hate taxation, for that to be your main problem with the Democratic Party, shows a certain amount of selfishness that I don’t like or want in a woman, or anyone. There are a lot of political issues in which I can respect both side’s opinion, and that’s not one of them. The President has taken a lot of flak this week for some comments he made about taxes and paying them and the government, and mostly, I just think, what?
Barack Obama said during a speech that rich “job creators” owed the government, to a certain extent, for their wealth because of things like free government education, free public roads paved by the government, and government trade agreements that facilitated their companies’ growth and success. This is apparently some kind of shocking, revolutionary diatribe, which I don’t get? What’s particularly unreasonable about that? People are saying that Obama hates hardworking Americans and business owners. He absolutely does not and really never asserted that at all. All he said was that, to a certain extent, any company in the United States was helped in some ways by the government on their way up. It’s hard to build a company in a corpse-laden nuclear strike zone. A business just getting off the ground probably doesn’t only use toll roads to ship their goods. Would you want an employee base that didn’t know how to read thanks to only Christ-sponsored private schools? What about the federal legislation that allows you corporations to be recognized, legally, as a person in the first place, you god damn morons? The President has never said to anyone that his “regime” was personally responsible for every success story in the entire country. That’d be absolutely ludicrous. All he said was that, yet again, people who live in a country that provides services to them need to realize that cash does rule everything around us (get the money, dollar dollar bill yo) and that it takes money to have, oh, I don’t know, things so basic that chances are you use them every single day, like roads, bridges, and schools.
Rush Limbaugh came out publicly and said this was a sign, finally, that the President has revealed that he intends to demolish America “brick by brick.” Sam West is coming out publicly and saying this is a sign, finally, that Rush Limbaugh has absolutely lost contact with any semblance of reality. People listen to this guy’s show every day, and he wants them to believe that Barack Obama intentionally worked his way up through the government, becoming a city planner, Senator, and eventually President of the United States, so that he could intentionally kamikaze the country’s future by REDUCING THE FEDERAL DEFICIT DURING A RECESSION?! You fucking nightmare?
Not wanting to pay, say, forty percent of your 1 million dollars a year so folks don’t have to drive to work through shell-pocked piles of twisted barbed wire and burning cars is one thing: selfish. That’s what turned me off so much about that girl. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that she didn’t agree with me politically. It’s the simple fact that if you really believe people who can afford vacation homes and Lamborghinis need to maybe give a bit of that money back to the government’s police officers who keep their vacation homes and Lamborghinis safe, you are probably a selfish pile of garbage.