Yes, that does read “Crime Scene Differently.” How are we supposed to accept a serious drama with a pun for a tagline? That may as well have been the punchline of today’s Family Circus..
TNT has always been the go-to network for fans of least-common-denominator cop dramas. I was planning on including a list of some of their greatest hits in this introduction, but every one of their shows is so unremarkable and every one of their titles is so generic that they all blur together. For all I know, TNT’s daytime lineup consists of one 24 hour-long show called Memphis Blue Heat Case: Saving Grace and Order: Special Victims Unit. You might remember the seminal work of their oeuvre, Franklin and Bash, a show that holds the distinction of being so terrible I could not sit through it to write a review of it. Lately though, they’ve expanded into an increasingly popular genre: that of the Professional Whose Mental Illness Gives Them Unique Insight Who Excels at Their Job but Not Their Social Life. First, there was Monk, a show about a detective whose Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder allows him to gain unique insight into solving crimes. Then, Criminal Minds, a show about an FBI agent who’s Asperger’s Syndrome allows him to gain unique insight into solving crimes. Then, dozens of generic knockoffs of those two. Of course, none of those are as flagrantly bad as TNT’s latest show, Perception, a show about a college professor and special agent whose schizophrenia (a disorder widely regarded as the most disabling and debilitating in all of psychiatry) allows him to gain insight into solving crimes (and also lead a perfectly normal life, and did I mention his hallucinations talk to him and help him solve the mystery, because you’re fucking right they do).
Not the kind of person I want making “the eyes” at me.
I once went on an awkward and disastrous blind date with a girl one time. It was a dinner-and-a-movie type situation, and over a blandtastic Olive Garden we fork-dropped and napkin-fumbled our way through that high school date every person has been on. We got on politics and our families, (which is always a great sign), and I said, “it’s tough living in a place like Alabama if you aren’t a total, flaming Republican.” In response, she actually said the phrase “well, I don’t really agree with Republicans on things like gay marriage, but I’m not a big fan of how Democrats only seem to be interested in taking hardworking people’s money and giving it to folks who don’t do anything.”
It’s odd to actually feel your penis retract into your body thanks to such an unbridled wave of sheer unsexitude. (The sensation may be coupled with a sitcom-like record screech for further humorous effect.) I knew at that point the relationship wouldn’t progress much further, and here’s why. I’m not the type of person who’s only attracted to carbon copies of themselves or anything. But to actually say that you hate taxation, for that to be your main problem with the Democratic Party, shows a certain amount of selfishness that I don’t like or want in a woman, or anyone. There are a lot of political issues in which I can respect both side’s opinion, and that’s not one of them. The President has taken a lot of flak this week for some comments he made about taxes and paying them and the government, and mostly, I just think, what?
- Nancy Grace, above, could not be reached for comment at writing.
Media shitstorms happen every two to three days in the highly connected netrocentric Twittocracy that we live in. They come and go as public figures once held in high regard fall out of favor, usually for doing something like cheating on their wife or some other thing which is really nobody’s damn business anyway. But sometimes, for example, when someone with a public platform attacks a private citizen, they sort of deserve some negative spotlight.