Everyone has a personal opinion on what they think the worst movie ever made is, but those people have never seen a mockbuster. Yes, Twilight is bad, but that has actors who remember their lines, a cohesive plot, a consistent setting, and isn’t filmed in the pitch fucking dark. For those of you who don’t know, the mockbuster is the modern B-movie. It used to be that bad movies came on before a good film in the theater, but that was before cable and home video, and now the SyFy channel and Netflix will play just about anything as filler. To help boost sales or ratings, companies that make mockbusters, like The Asylum Productions, give them names that are slightly different than a successful movie- that’s how we wind up with films like Snakes on a Train or Allan Quartermain and the Temple of Skulls. Making cheap, shitty movies is great for a company, because it’s hard not to make a return on something that only took three dollars to shoot in the first place. And to make sure that return is cashed in, bad movies have to appeal to the base sensibilities of idiots like me, which makes not just for crap, but entertaining crap. Let’s look at some.
Yes, this movie blew. But after the jump, it's going to look like Citizen Kane.
