Category Archives: Music

Breitbart on Music: The Number One Worst Top Ten List Ever

About once a week, I receive a comment on any given of my musical articles calling me a heartless bastard incapable of enjoying any art whatsoever. And they’re right- I have no ability to feel anything other than rage/hatred or smug superiority. But compared to what you’re about to read, I’m a sunshine wallflower drunk on the sensory ale that is life. What follows is an inside look at an actual, real article by Ben Shapiro, writer for Breitbart dot com. This man considers Nirvana, John Lennon, the Who, and Bob Dylan to all be overrated and horrible, and by the end of it, you are going to wonder what kind of music he possibly likes at all. So, a warning to those with weak constitutions or fans of any music released in the past 75 years- you’re going to get pissed off at what this guy has to say.

Continue reading

The Jukebox of Anguish: Theory of a Deadman- “Bitch Came Back”

Putting a satanic demon-babe covered in tattoos in a skimpy black outfit and fishnets on the cover of a metal album is like putting a blonde white chick with big naturals in tight denim jeans sitting in the back of a pickup truck with a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon in one hand and an American flag in the other on the cover of a country album. It's a fucking generic cop-out that appeals to all the stupid cliche sensibilities of your fan base. Goddamn, Theory of a Deadman, you can't even find original ways to suck.

It doesn’t take a guy who minored in Women’s Studies to get with chicks to tell you that there’s still sexism in America. Women earn only seventy-six cents for every dollar a man makes, manage only 15 of the Fortune 500 companies, and any given sitcom’s female characters all fall into the same four archetypes: bitchy whore, ditzy girly girl, insecure victim who plays aloof to avoid getting hurt, and frigid but successful businesswoman. There’s been progress sure, but when my high-school Biology teacher tells the class not to use the word “fetus” because it encourages abortion, it gives everyone a crystal-clear picture of how unequal things really still are. But if you’re still skeptical, Theory of a Deadman’s song “Bitch Came Back” off of their 2011 album The Truth Is… may just be about the biggest insult to feminism since the invention of the burka.
Continue reading

The Jukebox of Anguish: Awake and Alive

There was a time in our society when someone who wanted to piss off their parents had to listen to something genuinely meaningful and rebellious, or at least something genuinely pithy and rebellious. But now, heavy metal, music that once caused controversy at any mention, has been embraced by the least controversial thing in the history of the world: Christians. Now, when a good Christian kid turns into a rebel, they don’t actually ever have to rebel against anything. Isn’t it nice?

Continue reading

Billy Joe Armstrong: Portrait of a Douche

If you were like me, you tuned in to Green Day’s abysmal performance on MTV World Stage because there was nothing else on. Like, really, nothing else at all. If you did watch, you got a first hand showcase of irony, ecstasy, and the inner machinations of the mind of Giant Douchebag Billy Joe Armstrong.


Continue reading